And also, my willingness to grow as an individual or whatever — “Don’t get scared, Buddy. Be vulnerable with me, dammit!” The text message pings my phone at the exact moment I am traversing through a mole-hole-ridden field on the outskirts of my city. …

Words from the wise — Since I no longer leave my house due to my layoff last month, I have much more time to dedicate to a habitual yoga practice. These past three weeks have flown by because I’m currently spending all my time learning about stretching and breathing. It’s glorious! My goal is to…

Musings on dark humour and the inevitability of facing one’s own mortality — It was not uncommon in my childhood for Mom to sit me and my brother Dustin down in the living room to recite cannibalistic poetry. The Yarn of the Nancy Bell (1866), written by Sir William Schwenck Gilbert, is a poem I know well. On her most recent visit, Mom…

“How to Write a Killer Query Letter” — Dear Agent I hope this letter finds you in a particularly generous spirit. I’m writing to find representation for my 58,000-word memoir, Why Are You Always the Bad Guy when You Sit on a Baby? First and foremost, I want to put all the cards on the table. I am…

Talk about living vicariously through your kid — Imagine a bright-eyed 13-year-old skipping onto the school bus and loudly proclaiming, “As of this glorious Monday morning, you may all refer to me as Queen Lindsay in celebration of my birthday week!” It’s adorable for a 13-year-old. I have a sneaking suspicion that a 38-year-old woman wouldn’t be given…

Incidents and observations — 1. My 12-year-old daughter rushed into the living room last night, frantically asking if I knew about raccoons and their need to rinse everything they eat in water. I did not know about such things. Then, devastated, she told me about a video she had just watched of a raccoon…

Panic. Because who am I without work? — For the past six months, I’ve been working around the clock. Working at an event rental company means weddings, weddings, weddings. Of course, there are corporate events and the occasional rich kid’s birthday party we decorate, but mainly, we cater to brides. …

Incidents & Observations — 1. I was gassing up my car this morning when a full-body certainty came over me that the pump would explode. …

Incidents and Observations — 1. Last Wednesday, I was driving Lars to school, and we were talking about how Math class was going. …